I will quietly disappear, chapter 9

There were always many red and dead bodies around me. I had no name. I was always called by a number. I did not know whether I forgot or just did not know the face of my parents. I think that I was probably sold when I was a baby. 

“From now on your name is Luca.” 

I was given something other than a number for the first time. It was the father of the child that I tried to kill that gave it.

"You will protect this little one, instead of the life you lived before."

I had no grudge with the girl. But because it was an order, I tried to kill it. It was just a small baby that yet to open it eyes. I did not know the reason. Because I did not need to know. 

In the night when all went to sleep, I crept into the mansion. It was easy to enter and I felt disappointed when I thought that this was the home of the Duke of War. But I realized that the idea was sweet and naive. The next moment four tremendous killing intent struck me. Everything was too sharp, I did not feel like I can win.

  

Ah, I’m going to die, I idly thought.

That’s good. There was no meaning in living. I was just garbage.

I was caught and brought in front of the owner of the mansion. I thought that I would be killed, but my consciousness never ceased. 

When I was told to defend it, it really did not make sense. Are you stupid? I was too surprised I exclaimed unintentionally.

I was immediately beaten on the head.

"Try it."

The killing intents were released, and the man who is probably the Duke of Litzsel bring me to the target’s room. A beautiful woman stood holding a baby wrapped in cloth. Is this person the baby's mother?

  

As I was wondering what to do, the baby sleeping in the hands of the mother was quickly offered to me. It was sleeping so well and at ease. What was so feared by the client who tried to kill such a child? No, even with all the excitement happening in the mansion the baby was still sleeping soundly, maybe it really was a fearful being. 

I could not extend my hand to receive the bundle of cloth without understanding the meaning.

"Its all right."

She chuckled while offering her daughter. What’s funny I tried to kill your daughter you know? Why can you hand her over to such a human being? Even if I said so, the baby was forcibly handed over to me.  

  

"ah, no...,"

The first time I held the baby it felt soft and very warm. I instinctively knew killing it will be so easy. But I did not know what to do, I was really at a loss. Moreover, they did not try to help. And then the baby opened its eyes. 

If it was embraced by an unknown person, it was sure to cry.

"Hey, she will cry!"

I tried to return back the baby to them but they just chuckled.

 "Aaa--."

I heard a voice out of my arms making me jump. While looking at it fearfully, the baby with the bright big eyes laughed.

*Ba-bump*

Suddenly everything became clear. Bumpbumpbumpbump. I had never felt like this since the day I was born. No matter how many people I killed, no matter how much blood I spilled, either mine or others – my heart never beat as fast, my face never as red and as hot. My entire being was burning.

 "Ho, it seems like you are very taken with her."

"Looks like it."

Then I was not allowed to approach her anymore. I could only observe her from a distance. I wanted to stay by her side as she grow day by day. I did not realize when my will and determination all come from the thought of her.

And then the day came.

 "My Lady."

I was told by Master that I did not have to tell you that I was an assassin. But I will tell you someday. At that time, even if I am hated, I do not mind being told to give up being your follower. Because I only need to keep protecting you from the darkness.